K! Pizzacone | 325 Fifth Avenue (bet. 32nd & 33rd Sts.) | 646.823.9318 | kpizzacone.com

LET'S JUST GET to it, shall we?

When one—nay, a New Yorker—hears that there is a store opening up that plans to sell pizzas in cone form, and instant and extreme cynicism kicks in. Much more so that the innate curiosity about all new things food-related. In this, the best pizza city in the world (sorry, Naples!), we are the very last population that needs a new and bizarre twist on something that we've indisputedly perfected.

And as I read countless scores of comments on food blogs about such a place, called K! Pizzacone, when it first opened, it seemed many more people were willing to voice their opinions about the idea than check out the idea for themselves.

So, having promised to do so for a couple of weeks, I took the quick and easy trip from 86th to 33rd Street on the 6 train, walked two blocks, turned the corner of the about-to-open Korean chicken wing joint, KyoChon Chicken, and came across this this modest but colorful storefront, walking inside to find a slim, clean shop.

The staff was very friendly, instructing me of the ordering options as I surveyed the over twenty topping options available to "stuff" my cone with. (Heehee, "stuff my cone"...!) There are two sizes of cones, K! or K!!—don't ask—and a variety of combos with drinks. I get the K! combo (two small cones and a drink) which already start out at around 7 bucks, pre-toppings.

The toppings run 50¢ for one topping, $1 for two or more, with a choice of tomato sauce or pesto sauce. I watch them put my cones together as I ordered one cone with mushroom and bacon and one with sausage and tomato sauce.

The wait for them to "bake" in their convection ovens was a little long, about 5 minutes, and when done, can be presented in a paper cone or a paper cone in a paper box.

So, the verdict? First of all, let me say that the term pizzacone is a misnomer. As all should know, the word pizza means "pie" in Italian, and this is not a "pie" nor a "slice" of one. It would be like calling a calzone a "pizza pouch". This is a whole other animal.

And if you were thinking, as was I, that this is just a semi-glorified version of a Hot Pocket, you'd be close to right. The whole thing tasted like it came out of a microwave, and, taste-wise, I couldn't tell one pizzacone from the other, much like Jell-O™ being far more discernable by their color rather than their flavor. The crust was dry, crumbly, but had none of the regular "give" of regular pizza dough. A much higher cheese-to-sauce ratio, this handful amounted to being more about texture than flavor. And I couldn't tell which kinds of crisp meat I was biting into.

The "pros", if you will, are solely it's portable and its novelty. Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever may possess the skill of walking down the street while chowing down on a classic, folded, NYC slice without spilling all over his duds; most of the rest of us don't possess that skill.

So, over warmer climates, you could enjoy something that tastes like pizza while strolling to Madison Square park with a friend, instead of sharing a table or counter with complete strangers. And the yellow boxes and food geometry may make for great conversation starters with passerby or co-workers, but only once, and briefly at that.

This place could possibly thrive on those two assets alone, as they fit in with all the other fast food options in this office-heavy neighborhood; but less so on its price point. I see very few people spending 10 bucks on an oversized Gino's Pizza Roll just because it comes in a bright yellow box. Especially with some decent-looking real pizzerias nearby.

"Excuse me, sir, could you pass me the oregano...?"

Bun Apple Tea!


K! Pizzacone on Urbanspoon

K! Pizzacone | 325 Fifth Avenue (bet. 32nd & 33rd Sts.) | 646.823.9318 | kpizzacone.com